Show, Don't Tell

from Victoria Black


For any authors out there, you've all heard the mantra "Show, Don't Tell".

I bought a good little book from Amazon the other day for only 99 cents, called Show or Tell by James Thayer. It's only short, but there's quite a lot of good advice in it. Here's some things I found useful.


In it, he says that as authors, we need to present the evidence and let the reader draw his own conclusion.


Telling is a lecture e.g. Stacey was warm. Whereas showing would be: Stacey fanned herself with her hand.

Show characters' reactions, don't tell e.g. Tell - She looked concerned. Show - "What's wrong?"

The context will make your showing accurate. e.g. John smiled.

You can make a description show two things e.g. what he is wearing and that he is poor.

When describing a face, tell is okay e.g. She was lovely. But showing adds more e.g. Men turned to look at her.

It's not necessary to show all the time - when a lot of information must be conveyed quickly e.g. He had a gun in his holster, a knife strapped to his thigh and a grenade on his belt. Also, back story can be told, but keep it short.

The key to showing is the question - IS THERE EVIDENCE?

James Thayer said that a summary of Show, Don't Tell is:

His arm itched. But is there evidence? He scratched his arm.

Hunk Friday DYLAN McDERMOTT

This bad boy speaks to me. I admire his dark good looks and tall, muscular body and inherent arrogance.                                            

                                                            Dylan McDermott!

Mark Anthony McDermott (born October 26, 1961), is better known by his professional name of Dylan McDermott. His father was of Irish descent, and his mother had Italian, English, Irish, and French ancestry.

Dylan is an America actor, known for his role as lawyer and law firm head Bobby Donnell on the television legal drama The Practice, which earned him a Golden Globe and an Emmy nomination, and his roles in the first two seasons of American Horror Story. He also starred in the TNT series Dark Blue as Lt. Carter Shaw.

He was so very convincing in his role as a traitorous agent in Olympus Has Fallen. And then there's his upcoming role as a rogue FBI agent in the tv series Hostages. Looking forward to seeing him weekly.

Hunk Friday THOMAS MARK HARMON

Thomas Mark Harmon (born September 2, 1951) is an American actor. Since the mid-1970s, he has appeared in a variety of television, film and stage roles following a brief career as a collegiate football player with the UCLA Bruins. Since 2003, Harmon has starred as Leroy Jethro Gibbs in the hit CBS series NCIS.

Mark has made his career on both medical and law enforcement roles although has appeared in a variety of other acting roles. Harmon's career reached several other high points in 1986. In January, he was named People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive. He still does it for me. I think he just gets better with age.

 

 

 

 

I read John Sandford’s Prey novels voraciously and Mark Harmon played the hero in Certain Prey, definitely NOT who I would have chosen to depict Lucas Davenport, but he came pretty close.

 

 

Thomas Mark Harmon who manages to keep NCIS from being just another too long running series.

INSUFFICIENT SEX IS A SIN!

Today I received a rejection from a publishing company because my submitted novella “wasn’t erotic enough”. It made me smile.  I truly didn’t mind. I won’t be adding to the already explicit descriptions, or leaving home to indulge in some physical research sessions.  I have a fairly vivid imagination which fills in the gaps in my experience and knowledge.

 I can’t write a story without a plot. Scene after scene of erotic romping that doesn’t aid the plot, move  on the progress of the story line or is simply there for the sake of more sex, is not my style. I’m writing a story, not a series of descriptions of a physical marathon with gymnastic moves, performed in situ.

I did the best I could and I now have to find a home for this less than erotic romance. I could add some more sex scenes but I would then need to add lots of dialogue to keep my interest alert.  Perhaps I could introduce a sub-plot that is only ever discussed during sex? A different approach to consider but, nah, I don’t think so.

It boils down to this: I wrote it, I like it, and I’m happy to have it molder away in my computer's innards than rewrite it adding lots of sex scenes.  I know it’s been done in the Grey story, but even that story had a compelling layering to it which made you read all three books to find out why the male lead acted like he did.  I don’t want my readers to be thinking as I did by the second book - ‘another sex scene. I’ll skip these pages and get back to the real story.’

Thinking of this reminds me of the comment made by Elmore Leonard in No. 10 of his rules of writing: “Try and leave out the part that readers tend to skip.”

With that in mind I might have to remove all the sex scenes and turn it into a murder mystery instead.

What would you do? Comments welcomed.